I was scheduled to be induced the morning of January 17th. We got up nice and early to be at the hospital by 5 am. Between nerves and a fussy 1 year old that night before I only got like 2 hours of sleep. I think we made it to the hospital by 530. We got there and got all checked in and all was smooth sailing. I got to my room and got in my gown and all set up with the monitors. The nurse checked me and I wasn't any farther along than the 2 cm I was dilated at my last appointment. She asked me what felt like a billion questions, got me started on the pitocin, got me all settled and then shift change happened. The new nurse came on and all was going fine at that point. I'd been set up for about an hour and I was just starting to feel the uncomfortable contractions. The nurse came in to check me and that was the start of the turn of events.
They were having trouble keeping the heart monitor on the baby. The nurse came in to reposition it and felt like she was having to go really high to get it. She checked me to see if she could feel the baby's head. He was still sitting so high at that point she couldn't feel anything. She called in another nurse to check me and she couldn't feel the head either. Finally they called in the "tall nurse with the long fingers" as they called her. When she checked me she was feeling doubtful that she felt the head. My doctor was on call that day so my nurse left to talk to him. She came back and said they were going to do an ultrasound. The doctor came in and as soon as he put the ultrasound thing on me we saw that the boy parts were down and the head was up. Our little man was breech. My heart stopped for a moment. I knew exactly what it meant. My mind went straight to the thought of a c-section. It was certainly one of the most overwhelming moments of my life. The doctor discussed the options with us. We could have totally gone home and come back in a couple days to try and do an external inversion. That involves a lot of pain, some risks to the baby and only a 50% chance of success. My doctor felt like since I was already there and had the IV and everything that the best plan would be to just do the c-section. I thought about it for a moment and then the decision was made to just go with it. I was able to hold things together for a little while but once the decision was made the tears started flowing. I wasn't really scared too much but I just felt so overwhelmed. I went in that morning thinking I was going to have a regular induction, labor and delivery and here I was just 2 hours after getting there realizing a c-section was in my future. I felt a huge let down. I am one of those crazy people who really enjoys the experience of labor and delivery. I felt very sad and disappointed that I wasn't going to experience that, especially knowing that this very well may be our last baby. It was not something I ever wanted to do and not the decision I wanted to make but I knew it's what had to be done. I completely trust my doctor and I am so grateful he was the one there to do the surgery.
Once the decision was made everything happened so fast. My only reference for time is a picture of Jay with a clock in the background that shows the time as 805 am. At that point Jay was all set in his getup and they were finishing up some prep with me. A short time later they walked me into the OR. That brought on a whole other feeling of nervousness. The room was so sterile and cold and I was surrounded by nurses and techs and didn't have Jay there with me. I got the spinal and within just a bit of that they brought Jay in and started the surgery. I couldn't hear anything that was going on but Jay could kind of see things. When they got to the baby they pulled out a foot first, then another foot and when they went to finish pulling him out his head got stuck. The doctor had to make the incision about another inch bigger to finish getting the baby out. At 837 am our boy arrived. It felt very weird to not get to see him and hold him right away. Jay followed him over to the little bed and cut the cord and stayed by him while they dealt with him. When they got him all bundled up they brought him over for me to see him. I was in love instantly. I was also extremely sleepy and feeling very claustrophobic with the drape and all the stuff that was around me. They took him to the nursery and Jay went with him. They finished getting me sewed up and took me back to my room to recover. I was in there for a little bit and Jay came in to check on me. The nurse shooed him away telling him I was snoring away. She said to just go back and enjoy the baby. He got to be there when they weighed him and cleaned him up and all that. For me the highlight of the whole experience was that Jay got to have that time first to bond with our boy. I think it was cool for him.
Trying to not freak out while the anesthesiologist is going over things with me.
Jay all set to go to meet up with me in the OR. He said the wait while they prepped me in the OR seemed like forever.
Seeing my boy for the first time. The first thing I remember noticing were his beautiful lips.
Getting weighed and all that good stuff while Daddy was around.
When everything finally got settled they decided to move me to a different room. I was lucky enough to get a nice big room across from the nursery. After the baby was born he was grunting as they call it. Basically it comes down to a slight issue with lung inflation because he was born c-section versus going through the birth canal. They didn't know for sure if he was going to need to stay in the nursery or not so they put me right across they way just in case. Once they got me settled in the new room, 5 hours after our little man being born I finally got to really meet him and hold him. What a ride the whole experience felt like. The time flew and so quickly we had our new baby. It was definitely different than any other of my birth experiences. This little boy certainly made his entrance into this world a memorable one.
Holding my beautiful boy for the first time. It's crazy how big he looks in these pictures. People are surprised to hear he was only 7 lbs 10 oz. His little face and eyes were pretty swollen for a little while after he was born.
I don't tend to share horrible photos of myself but this I thought was a great representation of how I felt. I don't look it but I really was thrilled to see my baby, I just felt tired and miserable.
So here I am now 3 weeks into recovery. I must say it has been rather miserable. The first 2 weeks were awful. Aiden was born on a Tuesday morning and I didn't go home until Friday evening. I stayed as long as I could to rest and have help. The time at home has been challenging. It is so difficult for me to rely on other people to get the things around the house accomplished that I want done. I have had to let some things go and be OK with just resting and doing as little as possible. Being at week 3 I am starting to feel less miserable but still not normal. I have a little more energy which isn't a great thing because then I feel like I can do more. Then I do more and by the end of the day I am incredibly sore and tired. I have been greatly humbled by this recovery. I never thought myself to be prideful but have learned in all this that it really is difficult for me to ask for and accept help from people. I am so used to being the one to get things done and it is incredibly difficult for me to turn that over. I am grateful for the experience as a whole. I have learned a lot about myself and I have learned to lean on others more. I have also spent a lot of time lounging with the baby and that has been really nice. I surely cannot wait though to be fully recovered and fully back in the swing of things. Being a mother of 4 is hard as it is without not being up to full speed. I am so grateful to all the help received from my family and from people in the ward. It truly has been a blessing. And in the long run, when I get overwhelmed and think of all that has gone on and gone wrong in the past few weeks, I just look at this sweet baby we have and realize it is all so worth it. He is an angel. Perfect. Heavenly. Everything that is good. I am so blessed to be his mom. Thank you for coming to our family Aiden!
