Love for a Brother

Olivia absolutely loves her baby brother. She has her moments of jealousy but ultimately she just loves him so much.

 Here brother, taste my finger.

 Sometimes she loves him too much. I guess it will teach him to be tolerant and tough I suppose.

Just look at my adorable babies! So glad they are mine.

Valentine's Dinner

Even while recovering from a c-section I managed to have a moment of not complete lameness and made a pink dinner for the kids. Pink pancakes and eggs and some sausage. It wasn't that exciting but the kids loved it and that's what mattered.

Aiden is 1 Month Old Today

Can't believe this little guy has been with us for a month now. He's wonderful and we are happy to have in our family!

Going Home

Finally, after 4 days in the hospital it was time to go home. I honestly had mixed feelings about it. I was ready to be back to the comforts of home but I would miss the hospital. I would miss the constant help at the push of a button. I would miss the 3 meals a day, at the same time every day, that I didn't have to cook or clean. I would miss the quiet that came with spending most the time in the room with just me and Aiden. I would miss all the nice, wonderful nurses and techs who were all so kind and ready and willing to do for or get me anything I needed. It was honestly a wonderful stay. I had my reservations about going home. I knew things would be chaotic. I knew for the next few weeks the house wouldn't be as perfect as I would want. I knew that I wouldn't be able swipe up my little Livi Boo when I wanted. I knew the kids would all be adjusting and that at times things would be rough. I knew life as a mother of 4 recovering from a c-section just wasn't going to be easy. I stayed as long as possible though and the time to go home had come. It did feel nice to be home. It was nice to be around my husband and kids again and to have my shower and my bed. Ultimately it always is nice to be back home. Don't be mistaken though, it has been crazy!

Meeting the Family

 So very tiring being cute for everyone to come visit.

 I don't think I have mentioned how much I LOVE that this kid was born with this dark hair. The ultrasound tech a couple months back mentioned all the hair she saw on him, especially at the back of his head. I didn't really think he would have so much. I love love love his hair, especially when it's all soft and fuzzy after it's washed.

The Story of Aiden

I was scheduled to be induced the morning of January 17th. We got up nice and early to be at the hospital by 5 am. Between nerves and a fussy 1 year old that night before I only got like 2 hours of sleep. I think we made it to the hospital by 530. We got there and got all checked in and all was smooth sailing. I got to my room and got in my gown and all set up with the monitors. The nurse checked me and I wasn't any farther along than the 2 cm I was dilated at my last appointment. She asked me what felt like a billion questions, got me started on the pitocin, got me all settled and then shift change happened. The new nurse came on and all was going fine at that point. I'd been set up for about an hour and I was just starting to feel the uncomfortable contractions. The nurse came in to check me and that was the start of the turn of events.

They were having trouble keeping the heart monitor on the baby. The nurse came in to reposition it and felt like she was having to go really high to get it. She checked me to see if she could feel the baby's head. He was still sitting so high at that point she couldn't feel anything. She called in another nurse to check me and she couldn't feel the head either. Finally they called in the "tall nurse with the long fingers" as they called her. When she checked me she was feeling doubtful that she felt the head. My doctor was on call that day so my nurse left to talk to him. She came back and said they were going to do an ultrasound. The doctor came in and as soon as he put the ultrasound thing on me we saw that the boy parts were down and the head was up. Our little man was breech. My heart stopped for a moment. I knew exactly what it meant. My mind went straight to the thought of a c-section. It was certainly one of the most overwhelming moments of my life. The doctor discussed the options with us. We could have totally gone home and come back in a couple days to try and do an external inversion. That involves a lot of pain, some risks to the baby and only a 50% chance of success. My doctor felt like since I was already there and had the IV and everything that the best plan would be to just do the c-section. I thought about it for a moment and then the decision was made to just go with it. I was able to hold things together for a little while but once the decision was made the tears started flowing. I wasn't really scared too much but I just felt so overwhelmed. I went in that morning thinking I was going to have a regular induction, labor and delivery and here I was just 2 hours after getting there realizing a c-section was in my future. I felt a huge let down. I am one of those crazy people who really enjoys the experience of labor and delivery. I felt very sad and disappointed that I wasn't going to experience that, especially knowing that this very well may be our last baby. It was not something I ever wanted to do and not the decision I wanted to make but I knew it's what had to be done. I completely trust my doctor and I am so grateful he was the one there to do the surgery.

Once the decision was made everything happened so fast. My only reference for time is a picture of Jay with a clock in the background that shows the time as 805 am. At that point Jay was all set in his getup and they were finishing up some prep with me. A short time later they walked me into the OR. That brought on a whole other feeling of nervousness. The room was so sterile and cold and I was surrounded by nurses and techs and didn't have Jay there with me. I got the spinal and within just a bit of that they brought Jay in and started the surgery. I couldn't hear anything that was going on but Jay could kind of see things. When they got to the baby they pulled out a foot first, then another foot and when they went to finish pulling him out his head got stuck. The doctor had to make the incision about another inch bigger to finish getting the baby out. At 837 am our boy arrived. It felt very weird to not get to see him and hold him right away. Jay followed him over to the little bed and cut the cord and stayed by him while they dealt with him. When they got him all bundled up they brought him over for me to see him. I was in love instantly. I was also extremely sleepy and feeling very claustrophobic with the drape and all the stuff that was around me. They took him to the nursery and Jay went with him. They finished getting me sewed up and took me back to my room to recover. I was in there for a little bit and Jay came in to check on me. The nurse shooed him away telling him I was snoring away. She said to just go back and enjoy the baby. He got to be there when they weighed him and cleaned him up and all that. For me the highlight of the whole experience was that Jay got to have that time first to bond with our boy. I think it was cool for him.

Trying to not freak out while the anesthesiologist is going over things with me.

 Jay all set to go to meet up with me in the OR. He said the wait while they prepped me in the OR seemed like forever.

 Seeing my boy for the first time. The first thing I remember noticing were his beautiful lips.

 Getting weighed and all that good stuff while Daddy was around.

 When everything finally got settled they decided to move me to a different room. I was lucky enough to get a nice big room across from the nursery. After the baby was born he was grunting as they call it. Basically it comes down to a slight issue with lung inflation because he was born c-section versus going through the birth canal. They didn't know for sure if he was going to need to stay in the nursery or not so they put me right across they way just in case. Once they got me settled in the new room, 5 hours after our little man being born I finally got to really meet him and hold him. What a ride the whole experience felt like. The time flew and so quickly we had our new baby. It was definitely different than any other of my birth experiences. This little boy certainly made his entrance into this world a memorable one.

 Holding my beautiful boy for the first time. It's crazy how big he looks in these pictures. People are surprised to hear he was only 7 lbs 10 oz. His little face and eyes were pretty swollen for a little while after he was born.

 I don't tend to share horrible photos of myself but this I thought was a great representation of how I felt. I don't look it but I really was thrilled to see my baby, I just felt tired and miserable.

So here I am now 3 weeks into recovery. I must say it has been rather miserable. The first 2 weeks were awful. Aiden was born on a Tuesday morning and I didn't go home until Friday evening. I stayed as long as I could to rest and have help. The time at home has been challenging. It is so difficult for me to rely on other people to get the things around the house accomplished that I want done. I have had to let some things go and be OK with just resting and doing as little as possible. Being at week 3 I am starting to feel less miserable but still not normal. I have a little more energy which isn't a great thing because then I feel like I can do more. Then I do more and by the end of the day I am incredibly sore and tired. I have been greatly humbled by this recovery. I never thought myself to be prideful but have learned in all this that it really is difficult for me to ask for and accept help from people. I am so used to being the one to get things done and it is incredibly difficult for me to turn that over. I am grateful for the experience as a whole. I have learned a lot about myself and I have learned to lean on others more. I have also spent a lot of time lounging with the baby and that has been really nice. I surely cannot wait though to be fully recovered and fully back in the swing of things. Being a mother of 4 is hard as it is without not being up to full speed. I am so grateful to all the help received from my family and from people in the ward. It truly has been a blessing. And in the long run, when I get overwhelmed and think of all that has gone on and gone wrong in the past few weeks, I just look at this sweet baby we have and realize it is all so worth it. He is an angel. Perfect. Heavenly. Everything that is good. I am so blessed to be his mom. Thank you for coming to our family Aiden! 

Aiden Quinn McKinlay

I know it has taken way too long to get pictures posted of this sweet boy. I can't believe he will already be one week old tomorrow. This recovery has been rough though so hopefully I can be forgiven for the lack of posting sooner. His story will follow soon but here are a few pictures for now.

Born via c-section on January 17th at 837 am. Weighed in at 7 lbs 10 oz and 20 in long.

 Our first baby with this much hair.

 Eyes open checking out his mama.

 So tiring resisting entrance into this world.

 We were instantly in love!

It's About Time

We finally took the plunge and bought a minivan. It has been hanging over our head for a long while now. With another little person on the way in less than a month we decided it was time. There is just no more room for another person in our 5 seater Camry. I decided like a day or two before Christmas that we should go find something before the end of the year. I have always heard the end of the year is one of the best times to look for a vehicle. We did some looking online and found a few deals and called on them. Some of them didn't pan out but we found a couple at this dealership. We went and test drove and stewed for a while and made our choice. It may seem like a quick decision but there were a few factors involved. The very first, most important one is that we have a very limited budget. We didn't really have the luxury of looking all over the place and finding what we liked the absolute best. Our goal was to find something gently used with not tons of miles that came with a good price tag. This van was exactly that. It is in great shape and we couldn't beat the price on it. We actually got it for less than the blue book price. I guess what really matters in the long run is that everything just seemed to work out with it and fall into place and we felt good about it. We scored on the price and got a fantastic interest rate. We really do feel like we couldn't have done better. We are totally excited (not to have a car payment of course but other than that) and there hasn't been a moment of regret yet. Can you believe this is the very first car either of us has purchased ever in our lives? I consider that amazing and a blessing. Yay for Mommy finally getting a minivan like she has been dreaming about for forever.

 One of my favorite things about the van is the exterior look of it. I like it a lot better than the look of most minivans. I also of course have dreamed about the day that I wouldn't have to bend down into a car to get kids in and out.

This afternoon the kids helped me mix up some cookie dough. We have put it off a little longer than usual but we are getting there. My biggest motivation was that I am hoping to get some cookies rolled out and baked tonight so the kids can take some to their teachers tomorrow. I hope I get some done. Baking is certainly not as easy this year. I have never been this pregnant and trying to bake. I am finding I have to do things more in shifts. It's kind of annoying because I just want to get it done but I guess I can only do what I can do.

Zoey helped with the double batch of sugar cookie dough.

 Noah helped with the spice cookie dough. We totally had one of those flour all over moments when he went to turn the mixer on and pushed it on too high.

 This was the first year Noah was able to help read the ingredients and recipe.Way to go Noah!

Olivia's New Favorite Thing

These are Olivia's newest most favorite thing. I have not had a lot of luck finding her shoes that tie that don't cost a lot. Maybe I am not looking in the right places but I really couldn't find many options in tennis shoes that tie. Why shoes that tie you ask? Because I am so tired of going places and by the time we get there she has pulled of her shoes and socks and thrown them wherever in the car. I found these cute pink Converse at Kohls. I swear it showed that they were $20 on sale. I got up to the register to ring them up and they came up regular price. I asked the clerk about it and she didn't even look into it for me. She just asked if I had any coupons. The lady behind me asked the gal if I could use her coupon. It was for 30% off. Because of the kindness of a stranger I got the shoes for about $20 with tax. I actually got them for just a bit cheaper than I originally thought they would be. I really appreciated what she did for me. What a way to show the true spirit of Christmas.

First Pony Tail

Olivia finally sat still for me and let me do her hair. I can never even get her to keep a teeny tiny barrette in her hair. We got the pony tail in today and it has lasted all day. I sure hope this is the start of a trend.

Gingerbread Houses

This afternoon when the kids got home from school we got to work on our gingerbread houses. Last year we had issues putting them together with the frosting stuff we made. We thought we would be smart this year and just use glue. This year we learned that the glue didn't work so well either. It made the crackers too soft and didn't work well for trying to glue stuff onto the actual house. We still had a really great time though and we already have some ideas in mind for next year to make it more successful. I love that we started this tradition last year. It is a great way to spend time as a family and it is always fun to see what each of us creates.

The houses built and getting some drying time before we start the decorating.

 Olivia with her mouthful of Bottlecaps. She thought her contribution would be to see how much candy she could decorate the inside of her tummy with.

 Zoey's

 Noah's

 Daddy's

 Mommy's

 Our happy little gingerbread village.